Still searching and waiting...

Have you ever been bogged down by a major decision that you need to make that is reeaaally draining and almost drowning you?  Well...this is my first.  I have never had any problems deciding something for myself all these while...even the major ones.  It only took me like 2 days to decide on moving to KL to work last time.  I was only 21 years old at the time so that was considered a very major decision.  But this one has been nesting in my head for quite some time now...almost a year probably and I have grown so tired. 

I prayed hard about it...talked to God so many times about it and I know that the answers will come in His time.  But I am just tired of thinking about it.  The thing is, I asked Him "if it's not for me now...then why do I feel that You are pressing me to do it now?".  No answer. 

Then yesterday, after so long...He talked to me through this:

                  Delight yourself in the LORD

                       and he will give you the desires of your heart.

                  Commit your way to the LORD;

                       trust in Him and He will do this:

                  He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,

                       the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

                                       Psalm 37:4-6

God works in mysterious ways.  He has given me a few hints (through His words and scriptures from the Bible) actually along my journey in finding the answer to this decision.  They're not answers but they were guidance.  Although, after having to wait for so long, a straightforward answer like "..My answer for you is Yes.  So first off, go and do this and this and this.  Here's a complete guide for you :).." would be much preferred.  Of course...that's not the way He works.

So I am still here...waiting for His answer and in the meantime receiving all the wisdom that He's blessed me with as my lead and my guide.

And I surrender all...